i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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