You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
