I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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