check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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