Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
