you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
