Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
