So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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