the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
