After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
