Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Success! We fucked roommates!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
