Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
