You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
