What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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