You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So vagazzling was a success
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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