I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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