David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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