CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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