Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
