im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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