bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
