Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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