I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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