how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
