If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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