yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
