never play flip cup with pint glasses
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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