Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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