some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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