i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
