No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
