Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
