btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
