Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
