A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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