I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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