we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
