ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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