Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
