He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
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