ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
