just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
