I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
