bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
