I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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