I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
