I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
