Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
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I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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