So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
