At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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