i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
